Randy Brown – Performing Philosopher

Comfort is a trap
It lures us and seduces
Till we’re in that velvet grasp
Comfort is a trap
from Money is a Drug – By Randy Brown – from the CD “Dream Big”

This month’s lyric like last month’s is also from one of my own songs, Money is a Drug. I’m getting a little cocky ain’t I? To be honest I find the song a little preachy but the lyric says what I need said for this column so… what the heck, I’m gonna use it.

When it comes to art, comfort is over-rated. Too many artists get comfortable with what they have done and been successful with in the past. Remember how uncomfortable you were when you first started creating, how clumsy and out-of-control the process felt? Well, I am here to tell you that wasn’t a bad thing. Comfort is the bane of art, the enemy of creation and death of growth. Get comfortable and you are finished as a vibrant, exciting artist. You have reached the peak of your art and now you can be considered a craftsman, which is not a bad thing but it ain’t really art is it? (I know, I know, so write me an ugly letter or email already, I’ll be happy to respond.) If you seek to be an artist and grow as an artist you must not under any circumstances get comfortable. How do I know this? Easy, I get comfortable. I make myself irrelevant because, I find something that works and just keep doing it. After all, the results are good and it isn’t too hard. But when I quit stretching myself, I quit challenging myself and I stop growing. So how do I fix it? It is really easy; I get uncomfortable.

I know this sounds so absurd, that a guy who is almost 60 years old should be talking about being uncomfortable but here I am and that is what I am saying. You know how pearls are made; an oyster which has a smooth shell inside and very tender skin gets a foreign object, a grain of sand, a rock or a piece of shell inside it’s soft and comfortable interior. Rather than kick it out, which it physically can’t do, it uses that foreign object as a seed of creation. It extrudes a pearl in order to make the uncomfortableness go away. Viola!!! Think about it, Vincent Van Gogh, had madness, Beethoven had deafness, Hank Williams had depression and addiction and look at what they created. Now I am by no means suggesting that you become an addict, deaf or mad but everyone of us has things that make
us uncomfortable in our life. We all have our crosses to bear so to speak. I say, embrace them and they they will become the allies your creation.

There would be no art is everything were perfect. Art, is the result of troubles and the longing that comes from imperfections. To quote the great songwriter and tortured artist, Townes Van Zant, “There are only 2 kinds of songs, the blues and Zipadee-Doodah.”. That may sound like a funny statement but there is truth in it also. Nothing can exist without an opposite; no light without dark, no up without down, no beauty without ugliness and certainly, no art without discomfort.

So how do you embrace discomfort? You start by looking it in the eye. Begin with something easy, something that makes you mad; traffic, government, rude people, high gas prices. Then move on the the things that are a little harder to embrace but universal; sickness, death, inequity. When you have that down you can start on the really potent personal stuff; your own failures, the frailty of a relationship, your personal experiences with sadness, loss and depression. The more personal the better and in the end you will find that it is much cheaper than a therapist. All the best songwriters I know put it out there for everybody to see and that is why they are so good.. They aren’t afraid of being uncomfortable or of what others think. They square their shoulders and embrace the fear, anger and longing and use it to build their art. The art of discomfort, who’d a thunk it?

Caution, this paragraph is intended only for the performing artist. If you don’t perform, don’t you dare read what follows: When you perform, discomfort can provide you with even more benefits. Take the pain, anger and longing you felt in creating the art and put it into the performance. Heck, country music and blues is built almost exclusively on this premise. Feel what you felt when created the art and give it to the audience. They will take that feeling and send it back to you, making yours highs higher, your lows lower and getting your point across better. Hard to go wrong there.

So pick that scab, make it bleed, feel a little pain, settle into it, savor it. Now write about it, paint it, sculpt it, dance it, do whatever you do to express your art. It will remind you that art ain’t simply a party but instead is a journey of self-discovery and a dance with yourself. You know what they say? That you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, well you can’t make art without feeling a little discomfort. So got for it… get uncomfortable.

Please leave questions, compliments, comments or complaints here if you have them. There is no way I know how I am doing without your feedback. Here is a link the referenced song: “Money is a Drug“.

Talk to you next month.

Randy Brown is a small business owner and singer/songwriter in living in East Texas and has been involved with many sides of the music business over the years, from being a sideman, a sound man, touring songwriter, operating a venue, and a recording studio owner/engineer. He is also plenty uncomfortable with some of the stuff he writes.

This month’s lyric is from one of my own songs for a change. The song was written when I read a quote attributed to Pete Seeger’s father. The statement burned me with it’s raw power and truth. I saw the honestly in that statement that tells me; truth is right in front of us but still very difficult to pin down. Consequently, it really makes the point I want to cover this month. Which is: the truth!

The music business and all the business of art for that matter has one thing is common; the truth, the REAL truth is very hard to come by. When you come off stage, folks will tell you that you were great even when you know you weren’t. You will be told that your new material isn’t as good as the old stuff even when you know damned well it is. Folks will tell you they love when you know they hate you. Because if is almost exclusively a business in which success is determined by public opinion, it tends to be a business of lies and half truths at least on the surface. The truth is often left to fend for itself backstage and behind the scenes. So how do you handle it? One deceptively simple ploy is all that is required; always tell yourself the truth about your art.

To really tell yourself the truth about your art is very difficult. Because you are the the one who is responsible for creating that art then you must decide what you really think about it. Sorry fans but in the beginning that is all that really counts, the artist’s opinion. (Don’t worry fans, your part comes later and is just as important.) As the artist, only you know whether or not you truthfully communicated what you intended and if you hit the mark you were aiming at as an artist. The fans and critics may tell you what they think but as far as the honesty in your art that is for you to decide. At this point in the process, the opinions of others might as well be lies. In my mind the honesty of art is the most important aspect it can have. If there is no personal truth, then there is no purpose and consequently there is no art. A strong statement for sure but please let me explain.

Now please understand that truth we are discussing is relative to the teller. What is true to me; let us say “I don’t care for peanut butter” may or may not not true for you. But in the end what is true for you has no impact on my truth and vice versa. Now, I know this sounds like so much philosophical double talk but this is very important. While your art may or may not move others or express their truth, it cannot be real unless it first expresses your truth. Now hear this; Art IS truth or it isn’t art. In my view this is the crucial place where the most folks lose their way in art. Remember that if your art is your. truth then you are where you need to be to start. But wait, there’s more.

Art is not a thing, it is truth incarnate. To be that truth, it must first be the truth of the creator; the artist. No matter how simple, complex, silly or serious your art is, it must be true. We humans seem to have an innate, imbedded B.S. Detector. We can smell it a mile off. We know if the artist is being honest or not, we KNOW if they are telling us their truth or not. I can’t even begin to explain how this works but it happens every day to every one of us. We meet someone who tells us something and we know if they believe what they are saying is true or not. Now you will notice that I did not say that it was absolutely true in the sense of black/white, on/off or one/zero. No, I said that “they believe” it is true. As humans that is all we have to go on, is our beliefs and perceptions. These are not absolute truths but instead are personal truths.

So what does this wandering pseudo-philosophical diatribe have to do with your art? I contend that it has everything. Use that built-in B.S. Detector on your own creations. Do they feel/sound/ring true to you as the artist? That is your only criteria. Now, just because they pass the “true to you” test doesn’t mean that you will be successful or accepted as an artist. It only means that you have passed that test as the artist. The next step is to pass the test with the fan/patron.

You have all heard that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. The same holds true with art. Art is in the eye/ear/touch/taste/nose of the beholder. Herein, lies the ultimate test of art. Can your, the artist’s, truth be transferred to the beholder. In that act of agreement lies the mystical/magical power of art; the transfer of your experience/perception to another. That doesn’t mean that the artist is being agreed with in their statement of truth but instead that the beholder is agreeing they are experiencing what the artist believes is their truth. Now this is not a subtle difference. You don’t have to agree with Vincent Van Gogh that the “Starry Night” looks like what you see when you look up after dark. Nope, but what you know for sure when you see that painting is that it was his truth. Vincent was allowing us to see that sky through his eyes. In reality that is the sole purpose of art on this earth. It is a communication of truth from one to another. So simple, yet so hard at the same time. You should have thought about that when you became an artist, shouldn’t you. But now you know the truth and I think you can handle it.

So, set a few snares around the perimeter then dive right into that bramble bush, get bloodied by the thorns and who knows, you may catch that rabbit. But even if you only get a few hairs from his tail you will have more than most and I’d say you were successful. After all, truth is an illusive little critter but in my opinion a very worthy adversary.

By the way, if you have comments, suggestions or criticisms about this or any my columns please leave them here. Just in case you are curious, here is a link to the song “Truth is a Rabbit“  that is quoted in the introduction of this column.

See you next issue.

Randy Brown is a small business owner and singer/songwriter in living in East Texas and has been involved with many sides of the music business over the years, from being a sideman, a sound man, touring performing songwriter, operating a venue, and a recording studio owner/engineer. He likes to think he tells the truth to himself about his art but knows deep down inside that sometimes it is all simply a well-told bald-faced lie.

This month’s lyric is from a song written by Robbie Robertson and recorded by The Band. It was also the title track of The Band’s third album released in 1970. The lyrics are about a musician so paralyzed by performance anxiety that he drinks too much to the point the doctor warns him his health is in jeopardy. However you will notice at the end of the chorus he wants to start all over again because he is no longer afraid. Welcome to stage fright.

I got an email from Ron Hall, a reader and harmonica player who goes by the moniker of “Mr. Easy”. In his email he mentioned a problem with stage fright. He wrote that the way he finally came to grips with it was to perform as much as possible. I totally agree with Ron and would like to say a little more on this dreaded affliction.

I think stage fright is common to all performers; actors, musicians, public speakers, storytellers, poets and anyone else who has to perform, speak or be the center of public attention. I always say, if you aren’t a little afraid then you aren’t taking it seriously enough. So, yes it is common and it is uncomfortable but is isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, I think that you should use the experience of stage fright as a launching pad so to speak.

For me the biggest problem of stage fright is thinking too much during the early part of my performances. I find myself thinking ahead; what is the next line, what is the next chord, what song am I going to do next, how is this going over? This type of mental activity takes you out of the moment where the performance is happening and deposits us precisely where we don’t want to be; in a place I call hyper-aware. Sounds good but it certainly isn’t, my mind is moving forward at he speed of light over-thinking, overreacting and under performing.

Performance is not about thinking, it is about being there wholly in the moment, riding the wave of attention from the audience, making the most of that feedback loop that is public performance. What I mean by feedback loop is; you put excitement out there and the audience gives you that excitement back along with a little of their own. You take what they have returned and send it back to them along with even more energy. When it works, it brings you and the audience into an ecstatic, almost mystical experience. This experience is what every audience craves and what every performer that ever fully experienced it chases like a junkie does a high.

In fact I would go so far to say that it is a high. When you get there, you will find that you are so empowered by the audience’s energy; you can surprise yourself with your own power and energy. I have even had an out-of-body experience while performing. Discussing this with other performers, it has happened to them too. Once you have such a truly mystical experience performing you cannot stop. You become a junkie, chasing that feeling again and again and again.

OK, so how do you avoid stage fright? Well for me a lot of it is being prepared as a performer. One  thing that has always worked well for me is to open my performance with a couple of songs I am so familiar with, I can play and sing them in my sleep. Something with energy, not a low key ballad, but something that is memorable and representative of what you do. You don’t have to pull out all the stops yet. No over top solos or vocal gymnastics. Think of this as an introduction. “Hi, I’m Randy and I’m very happy to be here tonight. Here is a taste of what I do.”.

Let yourself flow with the performance and don’t think too much. I know this is easier said than done but I like to use the quote from Ram Dass of “be here now” as my mantra. In fact if I am playing more than 2 or 3 songs, I will have a set list somewhere in front of me and on that set list I will write in very large letters, “BE HERE NOW”. Those words help anchor me and can help me keep my mind from running away. Not that I always or even often succeed in following my own advice. But, at least I know what I should be doing.

In the end, Mr. Easy’s is the best and simplest approach. If some aspect of performance bothers you, simply do it over and over until it doesn’t. Oh yeah and by the way, I almost forgot to mention, Ron (Mr. Easy) has one arm and he is out there playing harpoon with the best of em’. So why should you have stage fright?

See you next issue.

Randy Brown is a small business owner and singer/songwriter living in East Texas. He has been involved with many sides of the music business over the years, from being a sideman, a sound man, touring songwriter, operating a venue, and a recording studio owner/engineer. He still sufferers from stage fright and thinks too much while he is performing. But you know what they say; “those who can do and those who can’t, write columns”.

“I Am Nothing” by Pierce Pettis -From the Album “That Kind of Love” on Compass Records

This month’s lyric is from a song written and performed by a great songwriter from Alabama, Pierce Pettis. While this may not be one of his best known songs it certainly gets this month’s point across in an elegant and poetic way. I highly recommend you check out his wonderful body of work at www.piercepettis.com .

If you are reading this column then you can safely assume that I have had a bad month. I am actually writing it in March of 2010 with hopes that it will never be needed. This column is to be my hold back in the unlikely case that I can’t write for a while. However since you are reading this, things aren’t going so well in my writing world. It seems I have caught the dreaded disease of writer’s block.

Writers block is shorthand in my case for lack of inspiration, focus and passion to write something worth keeping. Nothing seems to move me to write. I am not alone with this malady. All artists face this at one time or other, but knowing I have lots of company doesn’t help much. I use the title “I Am Nothing” because frankly that is how it makes me feel. As an artist who creates, losing the ability to create, even temporarily seems to take my identity with it. Leaving me with that “nothing” feeling.

As an artist, I have found it best to leave the subject of “where does it come from” alone. When it is flowing it feels to me like having a radio tuned in perfectly. When that happens it really does feel as if an “angel” is whispering in my ear. The creative signals are strong and I am sure of myself, I know exactly what I want to say and most importantly it feels as if it is coming from outside of myself. However, most of the time, for me, it is more like listening to a distant station that has a lot of static. It is a little hard to follow and I have to work really hard to fill in the blanks. In that case the results almost never seem to live up to what I had hoped.

Lets face it, many artists including myself are not confident about where the next inspiration is going to come from. I often feel that every song I write is the last I will ever write. But then, lighting strikes and here comes another one. You would think I could simply have a little faith.

The great Oklahoma songwriter, Kevin Welch once said “sometimes you are on input and sometimes you are on output”. I think that captures the truth of writing. Sometimes, I simply need to absorb what is happening around me; read a novel, go to a party, hang with a friend, take a nap, take a walk, whatever activity relaxes you. I find that physical exercise is a useful tool in getting the juices flowing again. My body is busy and my mind suddenly clears and everything comes into focus.

I have found that walking away from a particularly troublesome writing problem often helps. By letting it simmer in my subconscious the answer often comes to me, whole and complete. A few years ago, I was working on a song which was completed with the exception of a catchy and focused bridge. I must have written 20 bridges to that song and none of them worked. Then one day I was taking a shower before a show, when I started singing the unfinished song with no agenda in mind. The next thing you know I was singing a bridge complete with melody. I don’t know where it came from. It was perfect for the song, yet it really didn’t feel like I wrote it. I sang the song without thinking and the bridge appeared complete. Like I copied it from someone else. I guess the angel whispered in my ear again.

There are a million articles out there with a million methods for getting rid of writers block. Each one containing exercises and tools to get you back in the groove of writing. But, I am here to tell you the only thing that consistently works for me is; to have faith it will come again, be patient and don’t force it. It may take a week, a month or even a year, but if you are simply patient and enjoy life I promise you, that angel will reappear once again. Remember; you are still an artist even if you haven’t completed a work in a while. Don’t let the absence of inspiration make you feel as if you are nothing.

This column is intended to be the first in a series about the problems artists face in pursuing their art. In the upcoming months we will talk about; stage fright, balancing family, collaboration and others. This month’s column inspired itself and the the rest were suggested by readers. If you have any suggestions for columns please let me know via: randy@brownrandy.com

See you next time.

Randy Brown is a small business owner and singer/songwriter in living in East Texas and has been involved with many sides of the music business over the years, from being a sideman, a sound man, touring songwriter, operating a venue, produce and a recording studio owner/engineer. He is frequently plagued by writer’s block. But is at peace with the fact that everything he writes might be his last.